In Her Mother’s Footsteps

By Paul Turse (Samurai Raider) 3/17/05 Contributing writer for Raiderdrive-BASD

 If you write the phrase “following in her mother’s footsteps” in a story, your Microsoft grammar check might object to its use by underlining the words with that annoying wavy green line indicating that the words could be considered a cliché.  Timeworn expression or not, the concept of having a mother for a role model need not be abandoned for something more original.  Indeed, it is a concept that has endured, for the most important job of a mother, when raising children, is to set certain standards for them to achieve, whether or not these values might be considered old-fashioned.

Seven-year-old Cassidy “Cassie” Barman is one little girl who understands what the concept means, even if she might not be able to verbalize the meaning of the metaphor.  When it comes to being like her mother, Raiderette Wendy (left), Cassie has already started by becoming a member of the Jr. Raiderettes, a franchise program developed and designed to help young aspiring cheerleaders develop both their talent and their confidence.

Cassie feels that she has a very special mother, not only because she is a Raiderette but also because she always provides her daughter with assistance whenever she needs it.  In fact, nearly every night before bedtime, Wendy helps her with her cheers and with her use of pom-poms.  But more important, as Cassie points out, "She helps me with my homework and piano."

If you attended the San Diego Chargers game on Nov 16, 2004, you might have seen Wendy and Cassie during the halftime show, where Cassie followed in her mom's footsteps, as the Jr. Raiderettes took the field with their mentors, Football’s Fabulous Females.

In fact, Cassie’s (Cassie right) entire family came out to watch this little Jr. Raiderette make her cheering debut.  Cassie did well because she is a gymnast and has been practicing the sport at a very high level.  Although she is a bit shy at times, you can be sure that once the halftime music started, she showed you some moves and, of course, her endearing little smile.

While Wendy is delighted that her daughter is taking up cheerleading and hopes she will do well, there are other goals that she would like Cassie to achieve—goals which are far more important than being a good cheerleader.

Above all, Wendy would like Cassie “to gain self-confidence and pride,” the lovely and physically fit Wendy went on to explain during an interview at the Raiderette Calendar party, held at the West Side Club at the Network Associates Coliseum on August 16, 2004.

“These days, being a woman is hard enough as it is,” Wendy went on to explain.  “I just want her to be able to have self-confidence and just pride in who she is and just live life to the fullest."

One important thing that the Jr. Raiderette program does for young girls is to give them “a sense of themselves,” Wendy continued.  “They just get to go out there and perform and feel good about themselves.  It's [cheering] just an accomplishment in and of itself.  They learn a routine, and then they perform it in front of all our fans, who are so gracious.  And the fans absolutely go crazy over them."

Wendy has been cheering as a Raiderette for six years, and it's "not even final," she declared. 

"It might have been my final year, but this morning, she [Cassie] said, 'Mom, I want you to cheer another year because I want to do juniors again.'  And I thought, I don't think I'm ready to give up anyway.  I still love it too much.

While Cassie is beginning to take after her mother, Wendy has inherited many positive qualities from her own mom, Donna Martin (left).  One of the most important of these virtues can best be expressed by this philosophy, or mantra:  "Find what you love; go out and just do your best at it."

Because Wendy has found something that she loves (cheering), she restated her feelings, "I don't think I'm ready to give up yet.  I love it too much.”

Although mom Donna was not a cheerleader, she was a model and, obviously, some of these attributes of poise and charm, not to mention beauty, certainly have rubbed off on Wendy.  When asked what she gained from her mom, she noted, “Probably just confidence and her whole thing--her kind of mantra….  And that's what cheering has done for me….  I came upon it through happenstance, and I've just loved it.  And I've not looked back, and everyone around me--my family and my friends—have been so supportive of it.

Although she has had extensive years teaching aerobics, Wendy is now contemplating becoming a Pilates instructor.  "It is something I have been active in doing, and I think I would like to teach that." 

Of course, when it comes to her most important goal in life, Wendy easily states her desire:  “To try to be the best mother I can be.”

Wendy disciplines herself to train and workout—running and weight lifting—nearly everyday, although she is not a fanatic.  "I would not say that I was [obsessive].  I just enjoy it so much; I enjoy working out" If she misses a workout, she doesn't feel guilty or anything.  "It's like cheering.  It's just something I do because I enjoy it."

Most people stop training or don't work out at all because it becomes a chore.  "They think it's something they have to do, rather than something they want to do," Wendy explained.

In fact, Wendy believes one could apply her mom’s philosophy of life to physical training.  “Find something you love do and do it, and just do your best,” she maintained.  She then added an important addition:  “As soon as it's not fun, stop doing it."

Whether working out or living life, Wendy believes that "as soon as it's something that's not fun for you, you fail.”

Bottom line for Wendy is that she believes everyone must strive to live life to the fullest.  Her philosophy can best be summarized by a quote from the lead character in the play Auntie Mame:  “Yes!  Live!  Life's a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!”  In reference to that line, Wendy was quite emphatic.  “That’s my mantra,” she declared.

Not only does Cassie have her mom’s footsteps to follow in, she also has her grandmother’s to follow in.  "To some degree, she has both myself and my mom [Donna Martin] as role models in her life,” Wendy explained.  “My mom's very active in her life.”  Thus, Wendy hopes that Cassie cannot only gain from her but from her grandmother, too, because, as she points out, “I'm so proud of my mom.  I would love for her to come out like my mom."

“The ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’--that's sort of my song for my mom.  It's actually my dad's song for my mom as well.  I think we're just all really proud of our mom.”

While grammar check might consider the phrase “following in her mother’s footsteps” a cliché, when it comes to Wendy and Cassie, and their family, these words convey a time-tested value that could be considered a positive code to live by and might, indeed, be their own special and significant mantra.