mother_knows

"Big Sister"…er, I Mean-- Mother Knows Best

Story & Photos by Samurai

Have you ever approached a beautiful young woman accompanied by an equally attractive but somewhat older woman, who you believed was the younger one's mother? If so, did you try to be cleverly polite and ask the younger one whether her companion was her older sister? Well, when you see Raiderette Wendy Barman with her mom, you will be inclined to ask the same question. And even though you may be tactfully inquisitive and even though you may

believe that her vivacious companion is her mother, you will not be sure beyond a reasonable doubt.

Even though Donna Martin is indeed the mother of returning Raiderette Wendy, her youthful appearance and vitality will make you believe that she could very well be the big sister. Further, when you speak with this vivacious woman, you will believe that when it comes to knowing all about Wendy that mother does know best.

While Donna appears to be a surrogate big sister and has inspired Wendy to become the accomplished young lady that she is, much of this Raiderette's competitive nature might have been sparked by her sibling, her actual older sister. Even though older sisters usually have a competitive edge, Wendy was not intimidated or willing to remain on the sidelines. Whenever Wendy’s dad would try to get his older daughter to perform an athletic feat, Wendy was always trying to get in on the action and to get her dad’s attention, proclaiming unequivocally that she, too, could do it. “I can do it, Dad. Dad, Dad, I can do it. Dad, let me do it. I can do it. Watch me, watch me.” Donna laughed and imitated her daughter’s childlike voice.

“The bottom line is that genetics have as much (or more) to do with how we look than does will power or the 'right' diet,” says Wendy.

Has Wendy lost that competitive spirit? Not according to Donna. “She is still like that,” Donna confirmed. Mom knows how hard her daughter works to maintain her fitness to stay in contention for a spot on the elite Raiderette squad. Whether it was athletic events or dance practice, young Wendy always strived to perfect herself, a lifetime goal she has persevered to achieve and to maintain. Even now, when this gourmet food aficionado is not home cooking up a storm for her own family or writing articles for Raiders.com and other media sources, she is probably running or at the gym working out. Besides the rigorous three Raiderette practices a week, Wendy continues to run anywhere from 20 to 25 miles a week. She has even competed in the Boston Marathon. She supplements her dance training and running with a personal weight-training program designed for her by her husband, a physical fitness instructor.

However, despite her dedicated fitness program, Wendy admits that genetics has much to do with one's physical attributes.¹ And, of course, that’s where mom Donna comes in. Aside from inheriting her mom's obvious physical attributes, Wendy has no doubt acquired her penchant for an active life style.

Not even letting her hip replacement surgery nearly five years ago slow her down or cramp her competitive nature, Donna is still a zealous golfer. She believes that some of her athletic ambition has “rubbed off” on Wendy, who became active in competitive sports at an early age. She competed in swimming and gymnastics, and she was a “real terror on the soccer field,” where, when playing for the team her dad coached, she was “quite a little fullback,” according to Donna.

Other obvious traits that Wendy has acquired from her mom are grace and poise. Donna demonstrated these qualities and put them to good advantage when, in May of last year, she modeled in the Peninsula Volunteers' Salute the Stars fashion show, which was part of an event designed to raise enough money to purchase new cooking facilities at Little House in Menlo Park, a senior center that cooks and dispenses some 170,000 meals a year to the elderly. As part of the fundraiser, Wendy and a group of her Raiderette sisters lent their support later in the evening by performing at the gala event.²

"To me, staying in shape is a lifestyle to which there are no real secrets. Getting and staying fit is as much a mental process as it is physical," Wendy (right) asserts.

Wendy’s competitive nature and early athletic training, especially gymnastics, may have given her an edge over the other Raiderette hopefuls the last three years. Wendy was also a talented dancer, a skill which she continues to perfect and which has certainly carried over into her snappy Raiderette performances. “She’s always had sort of a drive to perform and that’s what I think drew her to gymnastics because she particularly excelled at the floor routine, and that was her favorite probably because it had the dance part to it as well as the tumbling, which she still does a little bit of, but not much of, " Donna explained. It was this innate drive to be in limelight which may have led to her desire to be a Raiderette. As Donna concluded, “It was a natural progression to get to this stage.”

Of course, Donna was always there to support her daughter throughout all of the earlier She remains true to form today accompanying Wendy to and sustaining throughout the grueling Raiderette competition. And when Donna can't be at her daughter's side, she watches her from the stands during the Raiderette performances. While Donna’s true purpose for going to the Raiders games is to see the Raiderettes and be her daughter’s number one fan, she admits that from time to time, her affinity for the Raiders takes control and she deviates from her mission and gets involved with the action of the game. Sometimes, after a game, Wendy will excitedly ask her mom if she saw one of her well-executed and choreographed moves. Although, Donna is tempted to take the Fifth, she hesitantly admits, “Honey, I was watching the game. I missed that.” “ I do watch the game, I do really.” Spoken like a true Raider fan. “The game distracts me from my real intention, which is watching the Raiderettes. I do get into the game,” she confessed with a "guilty" laugh.

"Karen [Kovac] has really brought this squad along. Their dancing is really—you know, really good, and she works hard to get it to be that way," Donna maintains.

Donna's infatuation with the game does not keep her from a critical evaluation of the Raiderette squad, which she believes has evolved into a well-coordinated dance group. “They’ve come a long way. I think when they were in Los Angeles they were much more like pretty girls because it’s about pretty girls, but I don’t think the dance ability was quite there. So I think they are more than just a pretty face now.” They now have that performing quality that was missing before, Donna implied.

It is that performance quality, along with their beauty, that makes the Raiderettes popular both here and abroad. Wendy has represented the franchise throughout the USA and in foreign locations, including places like Hawaii, and Mexico City, and Germany, many great opportunities that would not have occurred had she not been a Raiderette. In Germany, for example, Wendy and some of the Raiderettes took part in season kick-off event hosted by the Rhein Fire, one of the six teams that form NFL Europe. In addition, Wendy and her troupe gave the Rhein Fire cheerleaders a taste of what the Raiderettes are all about.³

Aside from making numerous friends all over the world, she has also made some wonderful friendships with her Raiderette sisters, even those no longer on the squad, with whom she often talks and visits on a regular basis. However, when it comes to fostering friendships, Donna made this observation: “You are not going to be friends with everybody, you are not going to get along with everybody. But that’s OK. You know, you don’t get along with everybody in life. But you do make some really, really deep friendships that seem to last.” Indeed, one friendship that appears to have lasted is that between mom and daughter. Wendy admits that in the early days, her mom spent so much of her time transporting her daughter to all of her many athletic events. The trend does not seem to have ended, as Donna was one of the few moms who hung in there throughout the entire night of the finals to see her daughter through to victory.

Wendy appeared at the 2002 Calendar Party at the Oakland Hilton in the summer of 2001 (Of course Mom was there, too!)

So, if you ever see Raiderette Wendy and she is accompanied by an energetic, attractive "older" woman, it could be her big sister, but chances are that it will be her mom, Donna. But when you speak to her about Wendy and when you listen to her ideas about the Raiderettes and life in general, you will realize that mother knows best, and you will be transported to a realm that is timeless and ageless.

Notes:

¹Raiderette Wendy Barman, “Physical Fitness is More Mental than You Think,” Thursday, August 16, 2001, Raiderettes.com (http://www.raiderettes.com/barman.asp).

²Jane Knoerle, " Peninsula Volunteers 'Salute the Stars,'" The Almanac, Wednesday, April 25, 2001 (http://www.almanacnews.com/paw/paonline/almanac/morgue/2001/2001_04_25.pvs.html).

³Wendy Barman, "Raiderettes go to Dusseldorf," Raiders.com, Monday, February 12, 2001 (http://www.raiders.com/Home/Press_Room/021201_germany/021201_germany.html).

*All other info regarding Wendy, except that cited by Donna Martin, has been taken from Raiderettes.com (www.raiderettes.com).